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Keep Growth Weird

Updated: Jul 26, 2020

I once had a client say, “I really want to tell you what changed my life, but it is so weird, I am afraid you’ll think I am crazy”.

I laughed, “Try me”.

Little did he know, I have had my fair share of (VERY) weird things, and nothing rattles me anymore.

Like my clients, I am a seeker through and through.

Because of this I have stopped at very little in my search to understand myself and the world. The more I experience, the more my ability to “hold loosely” multiple realities has grown. Weird is relative to me now...but I also know enough about the status quo to keep most of my experiences to myself for fear of social stigma.

However, admittedly when I do open up about my own experiences, I find that so many more people not only have them too, but are longing to talk about and make sense of them.

These ‘weird’ experiences actually do change our lives and we need a safe space to connect, make meaning, and Grow from this weirdness.

In research settings, these moments are called “Peak Experiences” and they tend to feel so impactful that EVERYTHING changes in an instant. Compared to gradual transformations, they are easier to pinpoint, easier to experience, but HARDER to integrate into your daily life.

In the spirit of openness, here I share four “weird” experiences that have significantly changed my life and why, and how I have integrated them into my daily life.

*A word for the skeptics* These examples are my phenomenological truth--meaning they are my own direct experiences that I have made meaning from.

They are true to me.

I am well aware of them not necessarily fitting into a scientific paradigm, but that actually makes them even more important phenomenologically because by trying to understand them, we may actually expand paradigms of truth.

Weird #1: Seeing Ghosts

I have the ability to see “ghosts”.

I see them with my third-eye and they look like a transparent overlay of the normal reality I see with my two eyes. Some of these ghosts seem less like a dead person’s spirit and more like ‘trapped energy’ that was used to doing a repetitive action and it wants to continue doing it on its own.

For example, I used to work in an old building, but I didn’t know about its past. Each time I would arrive, I would see nurses wearing old-fashioned clothes pushing patients in old-timey wheelchairs up and down the veranda. I would also see uniformed military officers on the same veranda pacing back and forth. I couldn’t make sense of why the two would be in the same spot, but later I asked a colleague what the building used to be and she replied “It was a sanitarium for many years until it was occupied by the Japanese during the war”.

I don’t think these people died here, but for some reason their repetitive actions are trapped in a loop and I am able to pick up on this loop despite their physical bodies being long gone. (I actually laugh so hard because at this particular building because it’s used a lot for wedding photography and I think to myself “if that bride only knew there is a ghost pacing the background!”)

What it teaches me:

These experiences suggest that not only are we energetic beings, but somehow despite our physical body being elsewhere in time/space our energy can stay in areas that we have habitual or emotional experiences.

(Just think, you may be haunting somewhere now without even knowing it!)

How I integrate meaning:

This part of my life is hard to talk about because it can be quite weird to explain to the average person. But, experiencing ghosts has really expanded my understanding of our energetic footprints. (I think many people have experienced this when you walk into a room and just know there was a fight in it just before you arrived). I am confident that not only are we emitting energy all the time, but somehow we can leave it around--and it may even be able to take on a life of its own. (This makes ‘hauntings’ make a lot more sense!)

I have integrated this by trying to bring and leave positive energy in public spaces (like trains and city streets) hoping it will happy-haunt them!

I also make sure to really feel into the energy of a space before working or living there, because I don’t want to get trapped in someone else’s loop!

Weird #2: Creative Downloads

Sometimes I create something that is definitely not coming from me, but is being channeled through me.

It feels as if I am merely the instrument that is supposed to get the idea onto paper/into the material world, but I am not necessarily thinking it up all on my own.

This happened a lot while I was writing my PhD, I would get into a flow of writing and before I knew it, two or more paragraphs would be on paper and I would re-read them as if they were brand new to me. I had experienced this as a teacher as well: instead of trying very hard to come up with a creative lesson, I was ‘given a download’ that required nearly no effort on my part and they would always be a success.

What it teaches me:

There seems to be other sources we are tapping into for creativity. Countless artists, writers, and creatives have described this phenomenon and researchers from every field have theories for what it is.

How I Integrate meaning:

I am more confident in my creative ability because I feel like I can access this source. I don’t always have to rely on my own mind when I need a creative solution and sometimes I try to induce this state when I am simply stuck.

One of my favorite pastimes is trying to make sense of what this source is…

Weird #3: Altered States of Consciousness

Without incriminating myself too much (!) I have imbibed substances that have given me a variety of altered states of consciousness.

Pleasant or unpleasant, I have experienced realities that don’t seem to exist in a ‘normal’ state of consciousness.

There were definitely times I feared I was losing my mind, and there were others when I felt like I found a whole new mind! There were even times when I was convinced that our ‘mind’ isn’t what we think it is. Altered states have made me feel more connected to people, the universe, and a ‘truth’ that is hard to describe.

What it teaches me:

Consciousness is my favorite frontier. Researchers are leaning more and more toward the brain being more of a receiver of consciousness than a creator of it and my experiences tend to support that.

There seem to be ways to tune in to another station when you explore other states.

How I integrate meaning:

Funny enough, a side-effect of my altered states of consciousness was a new appreciation for religion. Prior to this, I could be quite cynical with my views on organized religion, but after experiencing realities that feel “more real than real”, I can see why one would try to use religion as a gateway into this world.

While I still don’t love the exoteric dogma of religion, I very much appreciate the esoteric seeking religions offer to those who want to feel connected to these spectacular realities.

We’re all just searching for those little glimpses of truth…

Weird #4: Past Life Memories

When I was a kid I had strange memories of living before.

I could see myself in another time/setting doing things that I would not do in this life. For example, I remembered what it smelled and felt like killing and skinning a rabbit (I definitely don’t know how to do that now!). Another time I told my parents that I ‘hope I am not an alcoholic again!’ because of my memories of drinking myself to sleep as an older woman.

I had lots of snippets of former lives.

I forgot most of this until my mid-20s when I felt a strong desire to do a past-life regression. What I saw under hypnosis was so unbelievable that it changed my life forever. Not only did I see a very real whole other life as a Scottish man in the 1800s, but it made me question the concept of life/death as a whole. I was so impressed/curious that I did another regression exactly one year later and experienced something even more astonishing and it is still influencing my life and work to this day (and I LOVE talking about that one, but that particular experience is so weird it deserves it’s own blog!)

What it teaches me:

This may not be our only go-around…

We have likely lived many times before and we are getting opportunities to learn major lessons each time we do. Whether or not reincarnation is by choice or by force is up for debate, but enough people (thousands) have past life memories that can be verified with factual data, it is no longer something that can be ignored by mainstream science.

How I integrate meaning:


After these two experiences I had an even stronger sense of empathy for a wide range of people--especially those who were extremely different than me. I knew I too have likely been in their situation in another life and therefore developed even more desire to be kind, compassionate, and helpful.

"You today, Me tomorrow."

I won’t lie, this has also made me a bit more nihilistic (“nothing really matters if I am just going to do it all again), but paradoxically, I find this nihilism motivates me to find meaning in everything, or my life really is pointless. This belief system has caused me to question the lesson in everything (hence this post) and encourage myself to GROW a lot in this go-around.

Weird, right?

Believe it or not, I have so many more of these weird, life-changing experiences (don’t get me started on the Akashic Realm!). I find the more you embrace these experiences, the more you have.

Have you had a "Weird" experience and want to integrate it into your daily life?

Please reach out... don't go your whole life not talking about this... I have specific tools to help you understand your experience so you can finally integrate and make meaning behind these Peak Experiences!

I always have FREE 30 minute calls to see if we are a good fit, and I offer Depth-Quests which are devoted completely to integrating these experiences into your life! Check them out!

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