top of page

Why I use "Quests" to explore your Growth...

OK, be honest--how many hours have you watched Netflix this week? :)

Why do we get so sucked into binge watching TV series? Because humans LOVE soooo much. :)

But why? What is this seemingly magical power that stories have over us that can make us sit on a sofa for almost half the day soaking them up?

Stories are mirrors for our own journeys. They reflect back to us the same thoughts, emotions and experiences we have in our daily lives, but often in a much more dramatic, entertaining way than our typical 9-to-5 life. We relate with the characters we watch because on a symbolic level, we are also experiencing love, betrayal, hard decisions, redemption, and all the other things we watch in films and TV.

We crave stories so much that we unconsciously seek them out ALL DAY LONG through social media (watching our friends' lives through Insta), the way we describe our days (with a beginning, middle, and end), and obviously our choice of entertainment (books, video games, films)--they are ALL STORIES!

Quests give us a story framework for our lives

Most people agree that their 'interior world' is quite rich--with lots of thinking and feeling going on throughout the day. But if you were asked to describe this life, it can be quite difficult (which is why art and poetry are better to express the indescribable). I use Quests as a framework for our busy interior world, so you can use A STORY (everyone's FAVE) as a way to better understand your life...and eventually the Growth within it.

I design nearly all my interactions with clients (coaching, workshops, and E-Quests) as mini-journeys--I call them Quests--to give your brain what it craves--a STORY with which it can understand itself. I do this because after years of researching how people grow and transform (and being bored to tears by some of the dry, academic terminology), I realized "This needs to be shared in a better way!"

So I created a "Quest Map" that derives from my PhD research on personal transformation, my homeboy Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey, and a s-hero of mine Maureen Murdock's Heroine's Journey. This Quest Map gives me and my clients a structure to speak about their interior world and gives us all a (flexible) framework to understand the aspects of your unique journey that mimic the universal journey.

Because you can get stuck in stories too...

But another reason I use Quests to help clients is because sometimes we get stuck in our stories and fail to Grow because of it. This can happen one of three ways.

1) You didn't get the 'lesson' of the stage in the Quest you're stuck in

Each stage of a Quest/Story has a mini-lesson you are meant to learn. For example, you can't learn courage if you don't take the first step to answer your "Calling", or you can't learn patience if you don't know you are on a "Road of Growth". Learning which part of the story you are in can make a huge difference to your approach (and attitude) going forward.

2) You are living an outdated story ("awww , but it feels so comfortable!")

Sometimes we create stories about ourselves that work really well at one point, but later we get a new perspective and the story no longer works. The thing is, some people try to MAKE the story work (we all do it!) and this is when you need to step back and create a new story. You can also learn how to re-frame old stories to make them change your past, present and future.

3) You are living someone else's story

Believe it or not, this is way more common than you'd think. Because we are walking-story-lovers we pick up other people's stories SO EASILY (especially the more empathic types of people) and inadvertently try to live one that isn't really ours. This can be anything from trying to live your parents' version of your life, to an advertiser's, to even a super-unrealistic version of your "dream" story (really, you're still upset you didn't become a pilot when you never even took a flying lesson?).

Growth Coaching helps you realize where you may be stuck in any of these stories so you can actually take the opportunity to Grow and move on to the next stage of your Quest (because each stage gets juicier and juicier!)

You are in more than one Quest at all times...

The last thing I will say about Quests is that you are not just in one. I like to use the phrases "Life Journey" to describe that one long journey and "Quests" as the mini journeys you are in during that long one. And to make matters more complicated, just like you are in a different stage of your life journey, you are in different stages for each Quest! (See, these things are way better than Netflix!)

For example, you may be at the "Road of Growth" stage in your relationship (the fun montage scene of a movie where you see the couple doing all sorts of fun activities together!), but the "Emptiness" stage of your career (the scene where the office-worker bangs his head on the desk with boredom because something is missing in his life). This all would feel difficult to describe (that you are so happy half the day (when you are with your partner), and so depressed the other half at work)...but using the Quest model, it makes perfect sense!

Want to experience a Quest of your own? Contact me for a 30 minute FREE coaching call and receive your very own Quest Map to see where you are now and where you are going!

32 views0 comments
bottom of page